Dudley the wizard!!
by Wacky Writer
Summary: Harry's cousin, Dudley, turns out to be a wizards
1. Default Chapter Title

It was the summer after Harry's 4th year at Hogwarts. He was back at the Dursley's.......and Dudley was in an even fouler mood because of his diet. Although his mother had made him stick to a diet the summer before, he had managed to sneak in a few snacks now and then......well, maybe FEW isn't the right word! Anyway, Harry was staying out of his way as much as he could.  
One morning, however, a strangled yell and an almighty THUMP came from Dudley's room. Being the overly-doting mother that she was, Aunt Pentunia came flying into the room. "What is it, Dinky Duddydums?!" she shrieked. But then she saw - to her horror, Dudley's bed was now at least four times smaller than it normally was, so of course Dudley had fallen out.  
Knowing what this meant, Aunt Petunia fainted.  
Uncle Vernon came running into the room. "Great Scott!" he bellowed. He swung around to Harry, who had come in behind him. Harry was swallowing his laughter. "WHAT DID YOU DO, BOY?!?!?!" he shouted at Harry.  
"I didn't do anything," said Harry truthfully. "You remember after my first year at Hog- er, two summers ago when I got that letter saying I couldn't do magic outside of school." Uncle Vernon was so preoccupied with Dudley's problem and his fainted wife that he didn't bother to yell at Harry for saying 'magic' in his house.   
Dudley was sitting on the floor, dazed. "I didn't do anything either!" he exclaimed. "I was just really mad 'cos my Mars bar melted - "He stopped, realizing he had given himself away - again.Uncle Vernon scowled at him.  
Suddenly, Harry remembered what Hagrid had said to him on his 11th birthday a few years ago, when he was trying to convince him that he was, indeed, a wizard. "Never made things happen when you was scared or angry?" he had said.   
It was as if some one had flicked on a light in Harry's brain. He knew what this meant - and he was horrified.  
Dudley was a wizard!  
It appeared that Uncle Vernon had also realized what this meant, because his already ruddy face turned a gross shade of off-white. "Not another one!" he moaned.   
Aunt Petunia stirred and sat up. She looked around, and when she saw Dudley's shrunken bed, she burst into hysterical sobs. "Oh Vernon!" she wailed. "Oh, how coukd this happen???"  
"What?!" yelped Dudley. "How could what happen?? What are you guys talking about?"  
Seeing that his Smeltings stick (his fourth one - he had broken the others) was in sight and Dudley could easily reach it, Uncle Vernon said carefully, "Er, Dudders? How would you like to come along on a ride to the bakery with me? I'll tell you on the way." His diet seemed to have been forgotten.   
"OK, then...." said Dudley, obviously confused. "I'll...er, just get dressed then...."  
Everyone trooped out of the room. Harry dashed to his room, grabbed a bit aof parchment and a quill, and wrote a note:  
Ron -   
Guess what - Dudley's a wizard!! I know, I can't believe it either. This morning there was this huge thump and it turned out that he had shrunken his bed because he was mad about his candy bar melting. I hope he doesn't get into Hogwarts...but I doubt it, he's such a dim bulb.   
See you later,  
Harry  
Harry wrote to Hermione and Sirius too. He could hear Aunt Petunia wailing the whole time. Harry remarked to himself that it was remarkable that someone could cry non-stop for at least ten minutes.   
After a little while, Harry heard Dudley and Uncle Vernon leave. He knew that it was extremely doubtful that they would bring him back anything from the bakery, but that was no problem - knowing of his lack of food problems, Ron, Hermione, Hagrid and Sirius had been mailing him food often. He had discovered anthor highly-useful loose floorboard in his room, so he kept the food under there.  
About twenty minutes later, the front door banged open, and Harry cringed hearing the door bounce off the wall, no doubt leaving a mark. Aunt Petunia would probably make him clean it.  
Then he heard a bellow from downstairs. "MMMMMMMMUUUUUUUUUUUUMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!" Dudley had, no doubt, heard the news.   
Aunt Petunia went flying downstairs, followed closely by Harry.  
After about half an hour of hysterics and doughnut, Dudley and Uncle Vernon finally stopped bellowing and Aunt Petunia stopped wailing.  
Just then, an unfamiliar owl swooped through the window. It was too early for it to be a letter from Hogwarts, so that meant it was probably not for Harry......  



	2. Default Chapter Title

Although Harry had a horrible feeling that it wasn't for him, he picked it up and unrolled it part of the way. just in case it was. His heart sank when he read:

Dear Mr. Dursley......

"It's for you," said Harry flatly, and he flung the letter at Dudley.

Dear Mr. Dursley,

We have just become aware that a Reduction spell was done in your house at forty-three past nine this morning. Although you do have Mr. Harry Potter, an underage wizard, in your household, our sources show that it was not he who performed it, but you. 

The letter went on and on for quite some time, but (in other words) this is what it said:

We did not send you a letter when you turned 11 because you are so dumb you didn't show any signs of magic until now. However, you have been accepted at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardy, which your cousin currently attends. Please come to the school with your cousin Harry on September 1st , and we shall perform a spell enabling you to be informed of all that had been taught to the fourth years up to this point. 

Enclosed is a list of all the stuff you need for your 5th year. Harry will show you how to get to Diagon Alley.

Sincerely, 

Prof. M. McGonagall

Deputy Headmistress

Dudley looked up from the letter, horrified. "But I don't want to be to this - this SCHOOL!!" He looked like he was going to throw a fit. 

"But Dudley, dear," said Aunt Petunia, "think of all the wonderful things you can do!" 

"You can't do magic while you're underage, remember?" Harry cut in. "I got that letter in my second year." 

Dudley's face looked even madder. "It's not FAIR!" he bellowed. "How can I be a-a wizard???"

"Well, you know my sister was a....a.....well, you know...." said Aunt Petunia, turning scarlet.

"But - but -" Dudley struggled for words. 

"Er - Harry, Dudley," said Uncle Vernon. "Go upstairs, you two." He looked at Aunt Petunia. "We need to talk."

Harry and Dudley left the kitchen. A silent fight, similar to the one taken place three years ago outside the same door took place. Again, Dudley won, so Harry listened at the crack of the door.

"Well, should we let him go, Vernon?" he could hear Aunt Petunia's worried voice saying.

"We swore we wouldn't have one in the house...." muttered Uncle Vernon. "But what can we do? Really - if the boy has this....abnormality - we should at least make the best of it. We can just tell the neighbors and Smeltings that we put him in a different school. If they ask what school, we'll just tell them to mind there own business. Nosy people...." he muttered some more. "Yes, yes, that's the best thing to do. Maybe he'll learn some spell to help me get more orders for my drills...." he seemed to be thinking up this plan as he went. "Yes - well 'Diagon Alley' - what's on earth's that?"

Harry and Dudley heard his shoes coming towards them, so they shot upstairs as fast as they could, Dudley into his room, Harry into his.

Uncle Vernon walked into Dudley's room, and Harry heard him call, "Er-Harry! Come in here!" It was the first time in quite a while that Harry could recall that his uncle had called him by his first name. 

He entered Dudley's room and sat awkwardly on the floor. "Er-" said Uncle Vernon again. "What is this-this Diagon Alley place?" 

"Well, it's a place where, um, wizards" (he supposed it was safe to say 'wizard' and 'magic' inside number 4, Privet Drive from now on) "can buy all there supplies. That's where you can get all that stuff for school." He pointed at the letter (and list), which Uncle Vernon still had clutched in his purple fist.

"Well, where is it?" Uncle Vernon snapped. 

"It's - well, it's sort of in London," said Harry uncomfortabely.

"What do you mean, sort of in London?" he demanded.

"You - you have to go behind this little pub, and - well, it would be easier to just show you," he admitted.

"Fine," his uncle snapped again. "We can go today. But what about money? We don't have any of this wizard money rubbish."

Fear stole into Harry's heart. If they went to Gringotts' to exchange money, how would Harry get money out of his own safe without the Dursley's seeing? Then he had an idea - Ron. He could explain the situation and ask Ron to get some money out for him.

"There's, um, a bank," Harry said. "You can take some Mug - some normal money there and exchange it."

"All right, then," said Uncle Vernon crisply. "Can you show the way?" He said this grudgingly, as if he hated to ask Harry for any favors.

"I suppose so," said Harry.

And so they went downstairs, Aunt Petunia in tow......


	3. Default Chapter Title

Hi people! I'm sorry I didn't post this before, but I got real busy and stuff, so please r/r, no flames, I beg you. 

Enjoy!

DISCLAIMER: J.K. Rowling owns all the names and all that stuff, blah blah blah. I own the plotline and Dostrang.

Every one piled into the car and, since Uncle Vernon knew the way to London quite well, drove along with out any directions from Harry for a while.

Harry stared out the window, stunned by the morning's developments. 'How could Dudley be a wizard?' he thought. 'It just can't be!' He pinched himself several times to see of he was dreaming or not, if this wasn't all just one big night-mare. But, sadly, it wasn't. 'Well,' he thought. 'He'll probably be in Slytherin, and Malfoy, Crabbe and Goyle will be his new best friends.' The idea of Dudley coming to Hogwarts, the only place where he could usually escape him, was almost too much to bear, so he stared out the window, counting cars. He was up to 47 when Uncle Vernon spoke.

"Er, boy," he said, addressing Harry. "Where do we go now?" There was still thar sharpness in his voice. It was quite clear that he hated to not have the upper hand when dealing with his nephew.

Harry, however, was too depressed at the prospect of Dudley coming to his school that he didn't bother to bask in the glory of giving Uncle Vernon orders. "Turn left up here," he said listlessly.

Harry directed them until they reached the street with the Leaky Cauldron on it. They parked in a near by parking lot, and Harry led they way to the pub.

It was, as usual, dark inside. Harry didn't bother to tell his aunt and uncle that this was where he had resided for the last two weeks of the previous summer after he had accidentally inflated Vernon's sister, Marge.

Tom, the toothless, bald innkeeper came around the bar to shake Harry's hand. "Mithter Potter," he sputtered. "How nith to thee you again. And who are your charming companionth?" He smiled jovially at Uncle Vernon, Aunt Petunia and Dudley, who didn't smile. 

"Vernon Dursley," he grunted. "I'm, er, Harry's uncle. And this is my wife, Petunia and our son, Dudley." 

Tom grasped all their hands in turn, nodding and beaming. "Can I get any of you thomething to drink? Or eat?" he offered.

Dudley looked suddenly interested, but his father said, "Erm, no. We have shopping to do."

"Yes, yes, of course," said Tom, bobbing his bald head. "Another time, then." 

Uncle Vernon looked as if he was tempted to tell Tom that there was no chance of that happening, but he just grunted again. It appeared that he was afraid to upset a fully-trained, not-under-aged wizard.

Tom bid them good-bye and they went out the back door of the Leaky Cauldron.

When Uncle Vernon saw the empty back lot (aside from the trash cans and weeds), he faced Harry angrily and said, "What are you playing at, boy?! There's nothing here! Have you been leading us on??" His face was turning red, and Harry thought he'd do best to explain quickly. However, it was hard to explain, and so he simply said, "Stand back," in an important sort of voice. 

He withdrew his wand from under his jacket and tapped the third brick on the left. As it had done some many other times, a hole appeared, and wriggled until it was a large gateway, a gateway to another world.

All three Dursleys' gaped and gasped when the hole had appeared, but it was nothing compared to how loudly they gasped when they saw what was beyond the little hole. Dudley looked as if he'd rather run in the opposite direction as fast as he could (which was not fast, considering,) but his father took him be the arm, inhaled deeply, and entered Diagon Alley.

Dudley appeared to be experiencing the same set of emotions that Harry had felt on his very first venture into Diagon Alley. Dudley was looking all over the place, trying to see everything. Harry privately felt that it was a very good thing that Honeydukes was in Hogsmeade as opposed to Diagon Alley, because Dudley would lose his mind in the store. 

Harry led them to Gringotts. As usual, a goblin stood at the door way and bowed them inside. Harry was completely used to this, of course, but Dudley gaped some more at the goblin, which Harry thought was a bit rude.

Harry caught sight of the inscription that awaited them as the entered the bank. it was, as usual:

"Enter, stranger, but take heed

Of what awaits the sin of greed

For those who take, but do not earn

Must pay most dearly in their turn

So if you seek beneath our floors

A treasure that was never yours

Thief, you have been warned, beware

Of finding more than treasure there"

Harry thought he saw Dudley's face fall just a tad. He figured Dudley had been plotting to rob the place or something.

They approached the counter. "Ahem," Uncle Vernon made his presence known, and a free goblin looked up. "Yes, sir?" he said crisply.

"Uh-" It appeared that Uncle Vernon had not thought of what he was going to say. "We need to open an account."

"Ah, yes," said the goblin, pleased. "The name, please?" 

"Dudley Dursley," said Uncle Vernon. He spelled it, and the goblin wrote it on a bit of paper. (A/N: No, I didn't forget about Aunt Petunia. She was busy looking around, tight-lipped.) 

"All right, then," said the goblin. He appeared to be very happy to get a new customer. "Your vault is number 1065. Here is your key." He handed Uncle Vernon a small gold key, almost identical to the one Hagrid had shown to the goblin a few years back. "Are you wanting to make a deposit today?" the goblin asked.

"Well, we don't have any-any _wizard_ money," he said. He scowled slightly, as if saying the word _wizard _had caused an unpleasant taste in his mouth.

"Not to worry, sir," said the goblin. "We have an Exchange Office, right this way…" He came around the side of the counter and said, "Follow me, please." He led them behind a door and down a short corrider. He led them through another door, this time a blue one. 

There were a few goblins in this room, too. The goblin that had been assisting them at first spoke to another, younger-looking goblin. 

"This man would like to exchange some-" he shot a quick look at the lot of them and lowered his voice: "Muggle money." 

"Yes, yes, all right," said the younger goblin, addressing the Dursleys (and Harry.) "May I see the amount you wish to deposit, please?"

Uncle Vernon sighed and reached for his billfold. He pulled out about 200 dollars. (A/N: I don't really understand pounds and pence and all that British jazz, so in my story, they're going to use dollars and cents.) and placed it down on the counter in front of the goblin. He opened a drawer and took out some bags. Then he reached into a drawer and piled wizard gold into it, and swept the Muggle money into another drawer. "May I see your vault key, please?" Uncle Vernon silently produced the small gold key. 

"That seems to be in order!" said the goblin happily. "My name is Dostrang, by the way." He led them through yet another door, and this time it was into (one of the) stone corriders that led to the vaults. Two carts came down the track. "In the carts, please," said Dostrang, and they all piled into them……

Hope you like it! I'll write Part 4 soon…..bye! 


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